Happy dancing and mad cackling.

Okay, so I blog when I want to procrastinate. So shoot me. Actually, don't. I actually like my life right now, I'd like to keep it. No, that's not an invitation to shoot me in a non fatal area. I digress. As usual. I guess you can say things are a helluva lot better since I last posted. Well, they're fluctuating. Right now, I'm deliriously happy. I blame the chocolate (and the cake) I had at my cousin's house. A lot can change in a week. I've been writing a lot more (you can blame Chung for that); got about four different fics on the go, and they're not too bad, now I think back. Couple of them are as cheesy as a fondue but oh well. Cheese is fun to write and it makes me happy. To paraphrase a quote that I've probably now butchered and can't actually remember who it's from: "Write for you; at least then you please one person. If other people like it, then you've got an audience." In terms of the whole friends thing. At the moment, I really don't care. I've got my two best friends (well, sisters as I consider them now), my IB group who apparently love me the way I am (crazy people, I'm convinced IB's driven them mad), and a group of friends who I do actually like and who like me. Uh, grades. Still convinced I'm going to fail Maths and Chemistry but right now I'm of the mind that I'm invincible and there is nothing that I can't at least understand. I feel like me again, in short. Funny how all it took was a little sugar. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down? Evidently not just medicine. -happy dance-

I've missed my blog.

I really have. I'm quite sorry I abandoned it but I'm not sorry what I abandoned it for. I am talking, of course, about Tumblr. That being said, I miss writing and just being all feelingy on here.
Well. Got quite a few things to get off my chest, and since I know like no one reads this any more, I can be as open as I want. Not that I wouldn't have before; I've given up guarding my feelings etc. on the internet. It's real life you have to watch out for. I guess that's my first point: I miss having someone I can be completely me with. It's something I only fully realised in the past week - there's one or maybe two people who actually know the real me. Heck, I'm still trying to pinpoint the real me so to have friends who can actually cope with that makes me feel pretty damn lucky. Chung, you're definitely one of those two; Anna, you're kinda the obvious other.
Another thing: it's getting harder and harder to present a brave face to the outside world. This holiday really did come at the right time, I honestly feel as though I was about to shatter should one more thing hit it in the right spot. Back to the original point - it links to the one up there ^ with the whole real me thing. My group of friends... well, I'm only going to be with them for less than two years now. But for some reason, I no longer really fit with them. Something's changed. Maybe it's the fact that I'm the only one doing IB in my little group, I don't know but it's not the same any more. I know I shouldn't have expected it to be, but it'd be nice if it was.
God, this is so whiny and cliché... Welp, moving on (don't worry, only two more things to go and then you can go back to pretending I don't exist),
Grades. Dear god help me, I swear I am going to fail everything and then I won't get into university, therefore I won't get a good job (heck, I won't get a job at all), and I will become a hobo and then die. In all seriousness, though, I am freaking the fuck out. Well, not exactly. Basically, I panic for a bit, get distracted, be productive, realise I know next to nothing, and panic again. Maths and Chemistry are my downfalls at the moment, and I actually have no idea how I'm going to understand both because they just make absolutely no sense. And unless I'm willing to give up everything to understand those two subjects, I see no way out. Also, university in general. I think I know what I want to study but just ARGH, what if it's not the right course for me?! Should I start visiting universities now (answer here is yes) but where's the time? Shouldn't my parents be helping me slightly with this? (answer here is yes, again) I know I come across as a cocky little shit even to my family, but the truth is I'm fucking terrified and that's the only way I can deal with it or I risk breaking down. Does that even make sense?
Lastly, writing. I write, yes. I like to think I write quite well and I've recently (not so recently now) taken it up again and started writing fanfiction again. However, when I read my friends' work, it just puts mine to shame, it really does. I get told I write well, but in comparison to others, it's terrible. My stories are too short, they are choppy, the ideas may be good but they don't come across as well as I would hope... Feh.

Okay. So that was the insight into my brain. Hopefully you will leave vaguely unscarred. Honestly, this was just a huge emotion dump, I'm not like this all the time.

Last night was prom and today is the summer solstice. How 'bout that?

I was one of the people going to prom who thought it really wasn't going to be worth it and, as is usually the case, I was wrong. I think people might be getting a bit sick of hearing me talk about prom... oh well, after today methinks I'll be tired of talking about it.

Anyway, I went 'round a friend's house to get ready (spent most of that time watching Dostana and playing on the Wii, shh) i.e. get hair done (it was pretty, but kinda painful at the time because there were French plaits involved), make up (minimal. I don't wear make up. Like ever), and sort out dresses etc. Mine was (was? Still is...) this blue strapless affair which I was afraid was going to be a bit (hah, understatement) of a problem seeing as I am extremely lacking in the chest region and it didn't look like I was about to magically grow slightly larger mammaries in an hour. The problem with the dress was that it stayed up all right, but if I was going to be dancing around, there was a risk that it would fall, a situation that I would really rather avoid. Thankfully, my friend's mum is a lifesaver and had this sort of double sided tape for dresses and those unfortunates with a small chest. I went to prom with my dress glued to my body. And I shall never get tired of telling people that little bit of information because it's just way too funny.

Looks like it worked!

Now, prom itself. THERE WAS A CANDY BUFFET. A CANDY BUFFET. So, naturally, my clutch bag was filled with as many sweets as possible. Well, how else was I going to survive the evening on about four hours of sleep?

Anyway, pretty much the first thing we all did was squeal (very loudly) at what everyone was wearing etc. I have never felt so ridiculously girly in a long time. And then my friend and I legged it as fast as is humanly possible to leg it in heels to the candy buffet to drool for a bit.
We had a professional photographer there who was incredibly patient with us all (I honestly do now know how they managed to keep so calm). We each were allowed one free photo and any others after that cost something like 10 squids and up. Surprisingly, there wasn't that huge a queue for the photos...
Time passed, dances were danced, feet started aching horribly, people started taking shoes off. I had intended to go the whole night with my shoes on, just out of sheer determination but I soon realised that this would be akin to leaping through a bonfire while covered in oil and expecting to come out the other side completely fine. So the shoes were discarded eventually and we ended up dancing around outside on the wet grass. Important tip: If you have sore feet from wearing dastardly evil heels, take 'em off and go dance around in wet grass. Then go back to dancing barefoot inside.

So, yeah... my prom in a nutshell. Everyone looked absolutely gorgeous and it was a magical night, as cheesy as that sounds.

I'm bored. And out of chocolate.

12. Movie scores make me go all tingly. Seriously, you cannot listen to this without shivering a bit.
13. After seeing a movie once or twice, I can probably quote lines either as they're being said or just randomly. It gets a bit annoying for anyone watching with me.
14. I bite my nails a lot. They are pretty much stubs.
15. Whenever I get a new song, I listen to it on repeat for ages. I'm not sure how many other people do that.

So...

Um, yeah.

11.

11. People say that courage is the ability to carry on regardless of whether you're scared of whatever you're doing. If that's the case, I guess I must be brave 'cause I'm terrified that I'm gonna do something stupid and mess my whole life up because of my big mouth and my inability to control what comes out of it. Is this a confession? It'll have to do, I don't care if it's a confession or not.

More things.

6. I'm short. Very short.
7. I'm terrified that I'm going to fail all my science exams.
8. I really don't like Katniss from the Hunger Games and I think her, Peeta and Gale should have died at the end of Mockingjay. Or maybe just her...
9. I'm half tempted to get dreadlocks.
10. The only things I can draw are swirly patterny things.

Remember what Uncle Remus says, kids!

Stolen from a friend; dunno if she knows yet. Anyway...

100 Things You May Or May Not Know About Me But Probably Do
Methinks I'll post these in chunks. It seems slightly like cheating if I end up with 100 more posts just because of this. At least it does to me.
Anyway, lets start things simply, shall we?

1. I'm currently 16 years of age in Earth years.
2. My Gujarati is deplorable.
3. I love to read.
3. I think this "100 Things" thing seems a little bit conceited somehow.
4. I love the blue Skittles they are currently producing in the normal Skittles packs.
5. My favourite colour is purple or green. Maybe blue or yellow. Sometimes red... it varies from day to day, week to week. But never pink.

Oh, and I don't think I ever told you guys what was true and what was false on this. So, all of these things are true apart from number 6. I don't particularly want my brain to be used for research 'cause in the future they've probably got all sorts of freaky ways to extract past thoughts and memories etc. and I would like mine to remain in my brain where they can't scare people.

Well, I think that's everything. Wish me luck in my exam tomorrow, m'dears! Ta ra!

^ I want this bed. Actually, I want a hammock in my bedroom and I asked mum whether I could get one. She said no. :( Someday...